Time to Stop and Think, with Tom Cody and Kevin Brennan

Tom Cody and Kevin Brennan are both authors, national speakers, and former educators helping lead their company, Top 20 Training. They provide programs, resources and strategies to help you live better, think better, and work better. Their content may seem like something you already know but ask anyone who has experienced a session with them and they will tell you that their life has changed. Their primary audience includes teachers, students, parents, coaches and businesses however the material really is suited for anyone interested in having a better day. Our culture is more than ever full of negativity and the content offered here helps create a different path that results in a more positive culture where people are more engaged, can resolve conflict in a healthier way, and can learn from - not dwell on or avoid - our mistakes.  Tom and Kevin dig into some of the latest challenges we all have no matter the profession. The many lessons here are universal and are detailed more in their books, curriculum and their training sessions. Go to their website, www.top20training.com to learn more or listen to one of their own podcasts called The Inside Ride. You can listen to this insightful chat here or view it on youtube. 

Transcript

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Well, hello with gratitude, Matt. Listeners, it's Bill Moran here. I'm Matt's older brother. And today I'll host your With Gratitude Matt episode. As you know, Matt started this podcast to help people find the courage to be grateful, no matter how powerful the storm is. Our goal is to continue to inspire more people to practice gratitude on a regular basis. Before we get started with our awesome guests today, I want to give you a little bit of an update of as to what the Foundation has been doing. This summer we had a toast of gratitude. We had Grant Pakula as our first honoree and Grant is a sophomore at Elder High School, and he continues to find the courage to be grateful despite suffering injuries in a fire when he was 12 years old. Grant is a 15 year old sophomore at Elder High School, and hopefully someday Grant will be a guest on one of our shows. You will learn from his inspiring message and his journey of service to others. Another exciting note that happened at our Toast of Gratitude was John O'Leary gave a special video message. Our listeners will recall that John was a guest of Matt's. He is also the author of Soul on Fire, which will be made into a movie and come out this October 10th. Without further ado, welcome Tom Cody and Kevin Brennan. Hi, Bill. Hello. Hello, Bill. Thanks for having us. Yeah, this is my first time doing a tag team, effort. And, I couldn't ask for better, guests than you two. So you guys, are part of top 20 training? You are host of a podcast. Why don't you just give the listeners a little thumbnail sketch of who you are and why we're talking to you today? Well. Thanks, Bill. Well, yeah, this is this is a gift to, support your podcast and your work and your brother's work, especially around gratitude and heart and and best foot forward. So, that's kind of what we do as a, as a company. We're former educators. Well, we're current educators, I should say. But we're a company that that shares tools and strategies that helps folks think, learn to communicate more effectively. You know, you mentioned storms, weathering, storms. We're kind of we get the ships ready. We get you. We get the tools, on the stern or whatever boat word you want to use. And then if the person chooses to grab that tool, they can. And that just makes the ride a little different. So, I'll let Tom dig into the to the origin, but but we're like I said, we're educators. We work 80, 85% of our work is in education. But our message has spread to anyone that just wants to be a little more effective, more of the time. Yeah, we cross paths. Kevin, I taught at the same Catholic high school here in Saint Paul, Minnesota, Crete, Graham Hall. And so, I'm one of the founders of the company way back when. Bill, we long story short, I'm a recovering, dysfunctional, functional human. I didn't have an outer storm. I had an inner storm. My negativity and my complaining and whining and all that stuff got me into a very dark place. In my late 40s, I got lucky. I ran into a couple that was doing this sell social emotional work in companies. Their daughter was in my class. They told me that their daughter hated my guts. And, I hang out with them for a week later and just looked at the work they were doing. It blew my head off in a positive way. I got interested. We started a class back in the late 90s at our high school and thinking, learning, communicating for kids, it was sensational. It was better for me than it was for the kids. And it was great for the kids. It changed my marriage. It changed my life. It changed my classroom. And then I met a guy like Kevin, and we run into guys like Mike need. And I just had, I have a lot of gratitude for the fortunate events that turned this from something that could have been really lousy. I was headed for a dark place and this turned my life around. So, author Tom, I'm glad you had the courage to take that first step. And that's the hardest one. It also and it kind of leads into, you know, and again, you guys are the masters behind this. And, but one of the things that I pulled out of some of your writings, your teachings, was to help those define their purpose and own it. And maybe Kevin, kind of, you know, dig into that a little bit and what that actually means and that how that helps educators on their, journey and how they can better serve, their students. Sure. And this would be for teachers. This would be for coaches. This is for parents. This is for anyone on the street, this idea of purpose. I think, Bill, a lot of folks are really good at operating on autopilot. You know, they wake up, there's the alarm. What? I gotta go, I gotta go do this. I'm going to go. Then do that. And here we go. Well, like, for example, this evening, Bill, I'm going to coach, a soccer game. Okay. And, and I can go do that on autopilot. And I will focus on soccer. I will focus on refs. I will focus on the time and the score. Okay? And that will be fine. But but when we when we say to ourselves, all right, what's this really all about? What? What's this? This action I'm about to do called coaching. What's what's really underneath it? And how can I bring my best self to it to give the experience something completely different? I have to really peel back the the nasty, disgusting onion and say, well, what? What's at the heart of this? And when I know that coaching for me isn't about soccer, but it's more about helping these young men become adaptable, persevering, resilient young men, then I see soccer differently. And if I could see it as more than a sport now I'm gonna operate, make decisions, and and interact in a different way. That helps kind of remove some roadblocks. Not only for myself, but for my my players. And here's the thing tonight, Bill, if if the referee does not like how loud my voice is, if the ref does not like my feedback that I offer, if I can then take a step back and remember what this is all about. What is my purpose as a soccer coach? What is my purpose as Kevin Brennan, the human being? I'm going to navigate differently and I'm going to just I'm going to weather that storm much differently. And I think, I think just to to wrap that idea up in my own head, it's it's like there are roadblocks that are that are in my way as a human being. I got, I got these are internal roadblocks, external. There's tons of stuff in my way from me bringing my best self when I can, when I can whittle down to know what I'm really all about, what my purpose is at the heart of Heart of Hearts. Those roadblocks start moving a side much faster, and I bring full force. Yeah, and I built our purpose. My purpose is I provide meaningful, engaging, trainings and materials to empower people to be their best selves and create a positive difference for them and for others. That's great. On an airplane. That's great on a poster. Kevin's great until he runs into bumps and obstacles like he just referenced in soccer and life as a dad. What really matters is your purpose keepers. Who are your purpose keepers? It might be Kevin keeps an eye on mine. Find a friend. Physical stuff, post-its, making sure you understand that if you hang with people that share your purpose, you have a way better chance. Keep your purpose. But let's get real here. It's gratitude to this whole podcast about gratitude. That's one of my best purpose keepers. When I'm complaining about flying on a Delta flight the other night and that know rental car and all this stuff, then I realize the opportunity I have to talk to, I probably talked to 5060 teachers last week on my trip. I'm really grateful for that, especially at 73 years old. That's awesome. I'm about to pull a Mufasa here. You know, I mean, this isn't going to go on. This merry ground doesn't go forever. You know what I mean? So my gratitude has gone through the roof these days, and that's one of my best purpose keepers. Yeah, and I love that word purpose keeper. So one of the things. So what? Maybe what you mentioned a lot of the tools that you use, but, you know, I always, I always like to say things happen for you and not to you. And and again Tom it's in. Kevin. It's so easy to say that, but how do you put that into practice or how do you what kind of, planning do you equip your, educators with to take away and, and use on their daily life so that when things, you know, when the ref makes a call that you don't agree with, or when a student you know is not, you know, above the line or below the line, we'll talk about that a little bit later. But there is below the line, you know, and how do we help them? Well, we got it comes down to a handful of things. But one of the biggest things is simply how aware are you of your own inner life? Meaning what's what's going on inside you? How aware are you of that? A lot of folks in these are not bad people at all. I'll put myself in this category. A lot of folks become aware of their inner life struggles, challenges when they're in a mess, or when they've said something they wish they hadn't said, or they responded in the way they wish they had, or or they said something to the ref, etc.. So when we're working with educators or businesses or counties, whoever we're working with, you know, one of our foundational pieces is this idea of above and below the line and all that is, is simply a tool. This thing called the line, it's invisible, but all it is, is a tool for you to pay more attention to where you're at in that moment, simply in regards to how your thinking is working, how are you doing inside? And the whole why behind that is, is you then have a little bit of information to use in your next moment. How am I and Bill? It's not about being positive all the time versus negative. It's not about being perfect. It's nothing like that. The line is a tool to just understand where you're at. So then with that info you can move forward like I right now I'm in a fantastic place. I would I'm what I'm call above line. My thinking is clear. My heart is feeling great. I just I'm in a great place right now, so I'm, I bring that to whatever I'm going to do next, you know? And if I wasn't Bill, that's okay too. If I'm below the line, my thinking is a little cloudy. I just need to know that for my next move. So to an educator, they're coming. They're driving to school and they're going to work with kindergartners. Well, they better know how they're doing because they're going to make some ripples the minute they get into that. The end of that space. And Bill, you do. I spoke a specific strategy. Here's one quick one with with the line invitations. Kevin's day is going rosy and he's singing zippity doo dah right now. Great. Good for you, Kevin. Good for Tom. Invitations are coming. You're going to get something in the mail that you don't like. There's a bill you thought you had paid. There's, It's going to rain on your parade. And we're not talking about trauma here. We're not talking about losing your house in New Orleans and Katrina. We're talking about your cell phone isn't charged, or these little things that bump you. So we teach teachers and kids and business people when invitations come, you can RSVP. Yes. I'm going to go below or. No, thanks. I'm going to keep my day. Another one of our great sayings listeners out there. Nobody should steal your day. It's your day. Today is September 22nd and we're recording this. You don't get more of these one shot at this today. Don't let the invitations and the bumps get you, because there's going to be trauma sooner or later. But all the drama with a D take your day. So so three things real. That's just a little thing that we share with people. It's it's life changing for a lot of people. And we share that definitely definitely. And this idea he mentioned about today you know he used the words bell keep your day. Little things can steal your day. Little, little like a nasty text can steal your day. Tech issues can steal your day. Well, today's so precious. You know, Matt doesn't have to day physically. Okay. Our dear friend Paul doesn't have today. My mom and dad don't have today. So with that, I'm grateful for today. And I'm going to save my day. I'm going to keep my day and gratitude gratitudes. One of the ways we can do that. I'm going to share two real quick things with you, built real quick, and I'll use this in story form. I'm a coach. I went to practice the other day. Very true story. And I notice I was below. Line. I received some phone calls, voicemails on walking on to the soccer field and my thinking just broke and I knew I wasn't in a great place. I was still capable of coaching and everything, you know, but the team came in, I sat and I literally said this. I said, fellas, I'm crabby. I go on below and I just need you to know, has nothing to do with you. And then and then the coach, another one of my coaches, the head coach, jumped in and he goes, hey, team, you hear that? He's below the line. Let's be his trampoline today. And then we moved on. Then we moved on because a trampoline is something that we can get our thinking back on track. Gratitude is a trampoline. Just hearing my coaching partner say that gave me a little freedom, gave me a little space, and all of a sudden I was in. I was flying around that field having all ball still, still. My stuff was in there, but I was able to remind myself, okay, what am I all about here? What's this really about? And then we got, we got going. So little tools, bill, the line invitations, submarines. That means telling people you're not the best to places until you can get to a better place. Trampolining. All helpful tools for anyone. You know. We got 500 of these things and we'll, we'll we'll give you our pitch at the end if you want to get hold of us. But this stuff, this stuff's good stuff. It's not like Tom and Kevin are this amazing. We're going to go change your lives and preach the gospel to you and change you because of us. It's the stuff that was developed over these 25 years. That's the star of our show. It's not us. It's. Yeah. And I'm going to give you a chance. And this is, you know, if you've if you have done it, it's not bragging, but you know, where have you seen tangible results where you may have changed the culture of an institution or, you know, helped, your clients, your, your educators become aware of what Kevin was just talking about, where they were. Today is Monday. Friday I had her oh my God. With 20 people sitting around a table in Elk Creek Elementary School. It's in Newcastle, Colorado, middle of nowhere on the western slope. My fourth trip there. I got to sit on the what they call their wellness meeting. There's like 20 teachers sitting around a table, and they went around each one and name something I like. I say they've had all our content and they've got our curriculum now. I burst into tears halfway through it. What they're doing for kids, I was well, each person had something more amazing than the one next to them that they took invitations and panda bears and all of our training, all of our stuff, posters, kid of the week. They give out a stuffed panda, Kevin, each week to a kid, and then the kid has to pass it on to another kid, which is a euphemism for us for helping each other succeed. Holding each panda takes care of the other. I'll skip all that. I'll just say it blew me away. What they're doing is above and beyond anything Kevin and I ever envisioned for this school or any school. They asked me if I had any questions. I said yes, why am I here? You are way beyond what I envisioned for you. I can't believe that the kids get this every day from these loving, caring teachers. We just gave some more tools to their already great. But now the greater you know. The other thing that hurt me, hurt my feelings was I kept thinking of my grandchildren who are not going to get this. They're not going to transfer to Newcastle, Colorado. That's a long commute. Okay. I just felt terrible for the kids that aren't going to get this experience, that they're getting it all. Creek. Every kid should have the right to have this loving faculty help them with their thinking and their and their stuff that they're actually use their whole life. So is it a is it a culture that, you know, like when you go in and you, you do this training and you go through these exercises, do you empower the educators top down to implement this? And then the students are familiar with the language. They're familiar with the exercises. 100%. And it all starts with the top. The guy's name is Ryan, the principal, and he's amazing. But these guys, these these folks were great when I met them. Let's not get let's not mistake this. This doesn't. This is just one of those oh my god examples where it really blew up and I didn't even see it coming. I knew they were good, but what they showed me last Friday was I'd never seen anything like it for K-6 school. And Bill, we're not fixers. You know what? We don't go fix anyone. Really. That's how we look at it. Just like this, this podcast, you know, Matt's life. You're you're continuation. I, I don't want to be so bold to say this, but you're probably not fixers. What you're doing is you're you're throwing some stuff out there that may be beneficial to someone else. So when we go to work with a school, we ask a million questions ahead of time, and then we start picking from different topics that would would kind of as our. Business partner would say, you know, create the right conditions for something amazing to happen. That was a phrase Paul Burnaby, Rest in peace, used to say all the time, what are the conditions that we need to put in place for something wonderful to happen? And you nailed it, Bill. It's number one. We gotta we gotta have a better sense of our inner lives. How can we be more effective, bring our best self more often, notice it and say all the time, more often. And then number two, how are we bringing ourselves to the greater whole of the school, which is the culture? What a simplified way we talk about is like when I go to work, when I go to work, when when a teacher walks into a building, they're bringing something, you know, and it's a choice as to what they're bringing and the collective of what each and every individual brings is felt. And therefore that's the culture. And so we are very intentional to to share tools and strategies, strategies that build trust, build safety and feelings of belonging. Because if those three things are present safety, trust, belonging, your brain changes. Things happen in your brain that are close to what happen when gratitude is expressed. There's great research about what happens to the brain with gratitude. Same thing with these things. And when when that's happening, more comes out. I'm a I'm Bill. I'm a different human. When I feel safe, when I trust people, when I feel like I belong, you know what I mean? The fact that our friend Mike brought us in on this podcast, anything Mike brings in my world, I feel safe and trusting immediately and so I'm already in a in a great spot, you know? So so the more authentic me is coming out. And that's what we try to replicate in schools. What what what conditions can we put in place to bring the best of them more often? You know, I really appreciate you bringing my brother in into this and what he tried to do and what he's what we're trying to continue. But one of the things that he always reminded the listeners was to be aware of what they're feeding their mind, their body and their soul. And I think that's a lot or some of what you're trying to do in the sense of. And I listen to one of your podcasts where you had Miss Walsh on and she talked about social media and teenagers and I think and I'm we're we could do a whole book on that. She did I encourage I encourage you to listen to or go out and read it. But, being aware and being present was another thing that Matt said. So where do you see those, truisms in your, experiences? Well, it's it's Bill. It's all about human development. That's what I was missing as a teacher. I, I kind of knew that's what it was, but I got tied up in parabolas and ellipses and graphing lines and yelling about grades. And I kind of knew that basketball was about human development. I was just it wasn't in my front of my lobe here. It was. There was the background. Well, I put that in the front seat 25 years ago. And so when I run into these teachers in Colorado or I run into nurses at a hospital, it's human development. And not just for the people you serve for yourself. I'm still getting better. I'm a way better, grandpa, now that I was a dad, and I'm going to be a more phenomenal a year from now if I can keep this in my brain. Human development, human development. And then the idea, I keep thinking gratitude as we talked today about Matt and you and us, it's the dopamine and serotonin that I produce. It's just a chemical reaction when I'm grateful, when I thank people for anything. No. And I'm way more grateful than I used to be. I was a mess. I couldn't care less what was line in my soccer field or the maintenance people clean in the building. Now I'm going around the building. Thank and Secretary, I just this is part of my M.O. now because I get a hit off this chemically. Literally. I'm getting high with gratitude, and I don't want to be flippant about that. It's literally changes by brain chemistry and the people that I'm giving it out to. When we teach student leaders, we do three GS. We do growing, giving, and gratitude. Stressed on the gratitude. I make every kid take out their phone and fire a message to somebody to say thank you right on the spot. And they look at me like I'm crazy. We can't take our phones out at school. Yeah, take out your phone. It's all it's hiding in your backpack. Grab it and use it for something decent. Here. Send somebody a thank you and watch how they feel. And watch how you feel when they do that. So your education really is a journey of a lifetime. So that's what my father used to always say. And, and Tom, you're living it and, and, that's that's awesome. I'm trying to pull from a lot of and there's. And at the end of this, Tom and Kevin, I really want you to provide the listeners with ways that they could connect with you. And and what we'll do that at the end. But one of the things that, I hear is that faith is a part of this, too. And maybe you can explain that, Kevin, how that is intertwined in what you're doing. Yeah. Well. Like I said a minute ago, we all bring something, no matter what we're doing. You know, when I walk to work, when I get to work, I'm bringing me my whole me. And I'm a man of faith. I grew up practicing my my faith, my my religion. And and I found that that really enabled me to bring my more of myself up more often as an educator, as a coach, etc.. Switched to when I became a teacher. I saw such a, when when Tom mentioned this class was starting. I was a rookie teacher, so I was, I was observing the the formation and creation of this course, from from two hallways away and, and what I saw coming out of these concepts and principles that Tom and some of the other folks were, were initiating at the very beginning, were in parallel with what I was experiencing with my faith. My faith to me helps me, helps me level up. And and these tools and strategies help me level up in a completely similar, parallel but different way. And so I think it's I think it's just another piece of authenticity that, that pushes us to, to be more who we truly are. You know? And I think that was that was a big, big, big light bulb for me to realize these two things in my life, not only the top 20 principles, but my own faith. They were both there just pushing, pushing, pushing me and elevating me. And that's kind of my experience with it. And we do a lot of work with private schools, faith based schools. We do a ton of work with public schools and as as a business. We navigate that appropriately. But we often just see these different nuggets become this nice little catalyst for folks based on the right phrasing or the right incorporation. Hey, I would describe myself as more spiritual and faith driven. Bill, I want to I want to call to mind Paul Burnaby here, I met Paul. Paul passed away about a year ago. He had a bad run with pancreatic cancer, at. And we lost him. And it it was a big hole in our hearts and our company and our finances in our operations. Paul was the driving force behind us becoming a, quote, company or a national entity. We just thought we had a really neat little class for ninth graders. Paul's the one who pushed us out to the world, and I'm so grateful for him. He taught me so much about gratitude and the spirit. How do how does a guy like me screaming at basketball refs, yelling at parents run into a guy like Paul? Well, I can't, I can't claim that that's just coincidence or accident. Something's at work bigger than Paul, and I to bring two disparate people together. I had the stuff, I had the humor. I had the engagement piece. I can I can hold a room very well of kids, teachers, anybody. But Paul brought the death, the profound spirit to this. The guts of the program came from Paul. And for that I'll always be grateful. I got this from two other folks doing our business, but Paul's the one that took us forward. Paul's the reason that those kids in Newcastle, Colorado have an amazing experience today in school. It's it's because of Paul, not me. Paul got me there. That that's a beautiful tribute to Paul and well-deserved in in talking with mutual friends my our mutual friend Mike need Mike said the same thing about Paul. And my only regret is that he's not with us today, but he really is. And in what you are doing in the journey that you're continuing, in the mission that you're continuing. And, Kevin, I'll let you speak to that too, if you if you don't mind. Yeah. Well, Paul, well, you didn't meet him, Bill, but he is 100% in this podcast right now, you know. But Paul said something that shattered me emotionally, wonderfully once. I just lost my dad before Paul was, before I was really close with Paul and engaged in the company. And I was really sad one night having dinner with Paul, and I just said, I wish you could have met my dad. He was just the best. And Paul just looked at me. He goes, I have I'm sitting across from and. That's beautiful and that's really powerful. But that, that's that's the point. Whatever comes out of my mouth. I may have heard from Paul. He may have said something that just just shook me internally and really rattled my cage to bring my best self out. The same thing goes for my partner Tom, my partner Willow, who's not on this call. So yeah, I mean, same thing with Matt. You know, I mean, thank God this stuff that we take from other people, the good finds a home and then at the right point gets gets shocked out of us. And so trust me, Billy boy, you've met Paul and you're hearing him today. I'm happy. Happy. I'm glad I am. And I'm glad I'm here. I, Tom and and you, you've you've talked about this before and one of the things that and you mentioned it earlier like, okay, these are great. These are in theory I can talk to you guys and we can talk about, okay, let's avoid those tornadoes. Okay. Let's, you know, let's get these trampolines in place. Let's get these triggers in place. Let's get what what does it take to do it? What is it? What is it like? How do you do it? Well, first of all, Bill and Kevin, you can wave. You can argue with me if you want, but I'm the first thing from perfect in the entire history of the universe. I mean, when I when you get most improved as a dad, as a husband teacher, it just means you were pathetic to start with. And I, I was a step above pathetic. I was functioning, you know, I knew how to stay out of trouble. So let's not, let's not say, I'm not a finished product by any means, but my awareness is huge. Also, I surround myself with people who remind me when I was my wife. You know, I'll complain to her on the phone. I'm. I'm at O'Hare and I've got an hour delay, and I might miss my flight. And she says, yeah, but you got to talk to how many people today? You 180 people with a microphone. How how'd that go? So there's people in my life that remind me to be more grateful. What? I'm worried about. Bumps in the road. I mean, I hung out with Paul Burnaby. Bill, that wasn't my crew back in the 80s. Let's just say I won't get into the details, but I was hanging with some very negative people. And it and it. It formed my habits and my habits for my life. So the best way to do this is I call Kevin three times a day. Sometimes it's to figure out a flight or a meeting we have, but a lot of times it's just we just keep an eye on each other. So I think that's the number one thing is you got to have your you got to have a peer partner in this. Life is just too hard to do this alone. It's too hard. It's it's crazy out there, you know, look at our look at our current culture in the United States. It's easy to get swallowed up by politics, comedy, some of the nutty stuff going on in our streets. I can't afford to do that at 73. I have to find a way. So what drives me is try to change my environment. How do you avoid. So, like, you know, you you you touched on the negativity that that is out there. And you guys call them tornadoes, which I love that word. And for I'll just give you an example. So, you've got parents and there is something at school and let's say it's, let's say it's a, we were not going to get political here, but let's say it's curriculum and I'm not going to say what it is, but there's criticism of curriculum. Let's say it's how they're teaching math. Okay. Right. And then parent number one comes in and says, oh, you know, Cody is teaching it the way they did back in the 80s. And these kids are going to, not perform well on their tests. And then the next parent says, oh, yeah. And Jimmy, you know, well, now he's underperformed in math because of Cody. And then there's a pile on. And how do you like how do you teach the parents like be aware and avoid these. Well I think number one is is you start with yourself and you just say, okay, whatever I'm going to say in this fray, am I going to be speaking in a way that's problem solving, a problem naming a lot of folks, bill, just want to name the problems because they like to vent and we're not anti vents. Great. But but sometimes venting can have a cost. We call it dishonoring the absent. You know it may be speaking about someone that's not present and they're not speaking in their best interest. So that is completely it's a trust breaker. It's not helpful. So if you would really want to talk about curriculum okay let's talk. But can we do so in a solve manner. And just having that in your head okay. Here they are. They're all talking about the stuff I have my own opinions on this stuff okay. If I'm going to jump in how am I going to do this? Could I do it in a solve mode or a name mode? And we just got to understand that that is a difference maker in that moment. That's one teeny tiny step. Tom. Blame what you just illustrated is another topic we do. Bill called blame me when you stuck, when if I'm going to blame Bill for my experience today, I have now taken a tennis ball literally. My power to make a difference, right? I've threw it over to Bill. Now Bill holds the power to make a difference in my life today. America is addicted to blame. Right now it's American, Democrat, vaccinated, unvaccinated. Everybody else is at fault. And so we all sit and wait and wait and wait till the other people fix our life. The number one thing about gratitude is it's the anti blame game. It's the antidote for blame is if I can instead thank the person for their point of view. I don't like your point of view. I don't agree with your point of view. Thanks for sharing that literally. And I don't mean rhetorically or fake, I mean literally. I don't agree with this, but I'm not going to give you I'm not going to be held hostage to your beliefs today. We got so many of these things. And we'll we'll give you the info how to get Ahold of us at the end. But now I want to say one more thing on the on the heels of this conversation. As to Bill, I think it's important for people to understand what their norm is. You know, is it normal for Kevin Brennan when he's around parents to bring negativity, to bring problem naming, to stir it up, you know, is that normal? Well, for some folks it is. It is not my norm. I'm not perfect. I fall into it plenty of times. But but when your norm is established, like, okay, if I'm going to complain to Kevin at the soccer game, he's likely going to do something called ask me questions. You know what Paul said to me once he looked at me, he goes, Kevin, lead with curiosity. And that's stuck in my brain. And so when someone stirred it up, I just start asking some questions, like authentic questions. I'm an honest, authentic human, and sometimes that shifts it a little bit because sometimes people just just don't even realize they're on autopilot so much that they're doing something completely pointless. Like Tom said, blaming or complaining or stirring. We don't need to agree with everyone, but if we bring some curiosity to the table and we remember, how do I what's my purpose? What do I want to bring to this moment? It can change. No, it will change the experience of the moment. It may not make everyone agree. It may not solve a huge problem. But we're a we're big on experience changes. And when I when I'm aware of that, what I bring I will change the experience. And that's just going to be a catalyst for other things. Let me add this to curiosity. And if you're driving a car and listening to us right now, pull over because you might this might hit you right in the brains here. 73 years on this planet, I don't remember a time where I created a problem by being curious. I just don't remember. Maybe I have I don't think so. But I've created a lot of problems when I don't have curiosity. That comes straight from Mr. Burnaby. It's rings true in my head every time. I just don't create problems when I go with that attitude, you know? And, you. Know, in a way it kind of disarms the complainer. You know, it kind of like, oh, wow. Okay. You and I actually learn more. You want to be informed, you want to be present. You know, that's great. It's beautiful. Well, I could talk to you guys for hours. And I'm not just saying that I really. I'm learning so much. I want to be respectful of your time. How can listeners learn more, about top 20 and how to engage? Your awesome team. Great. Thank you, thank you. All right. Well, again, Bill, thanks for having us. And giving us, the platform to show our, our gratitude and how we express gratitude to the world as well. So, so easy way to get more info about us. Is WW dot top 20 training.com and the two zeros numerical. So you can find resources for education or outside of education with our topics about our team. We have a lot of products we have. We have books. We've written a number of books that have our content in it geared towards educators or geared towards absolutely anybody's. So the website's a great way on socials. We're just at at top 20 training, Instagram x, whatever. You're whatever you're now noodling on. We also are very much a human company. So you can do this thing called email us and we will call you, at here. Excuse me. Info at top 20 training.com. One of us. So respond. We'll give you a phone number. Will be text buddies or phone buddies. And and we. Here you go. Here comes to curiosity again. We have a lot of conversations that that don't lead to absolutely anything other than mutual benefit in a conversation. So if someone just wants info about us, come on, give us a call. If you want to know how we can be, help your, the county that you work in. Bring it on schools bring it. We're we're up for it. We work with adults, teachers, administrators, coaches, parents, health care workers. I don't think there's some. We have lawyers. I'm going to be working with a judicial system this week. We're all over the place and and and we're up for it. That's big time. Right? Time. We're up for it. Oh. Yeah. If you email me and I don't answer you immediately, I died. So then send flowers to Judy. Well, check with me and I'll validate his death or not. Yeah. I mean, we're not like some company where you have to go through 17 prompts to get to customer service. We're just three of us with our cell phones and five books in the back of my car in case somebody wants to buy one. We're just regular folks, so call us up. Go up. I want to thank you before we go to a. You don't know. You don't know us. You don't know Mike needs us. We're good guys. That's. But I thank you for your leap, as in this part of your day with us and getting this out to your audience, which is different than our audience. And I would say to this, to the people listening, get out your phone, send somebody a text today of gratitude. I'm challenging you to do this. I don't mean maybe. I mean hit send and watch. They're going to right back right away. Go. What's wrong? What? Because people are used to this. What? What? Why are you texting me? Well, because I love you. Because I'm grateful for you. It's it's, you know, it's beautiful. Yeah, well, and I appreciate you bringing your true, authentic selves. And I don't want to. You guys are are, you bring a little humor to this, which I really enjoy and appreciate. And but I also, this is such an important topic. And if we can, if we can help. This sounds so sanctimonious, but if we can help our youth, it's better for us. I mean, it just it helps. It the the positivity keeps rolling and and, it makes us it makes our lives better, richer, fuller. So. Oh, you're right, Bill, what you're doing is great. Bill. Who's going to cure cancer? It's not me. No, not our generation. That kid from Elk Creek, Colorado. Who's going to solve global warming? Who's going to run for governor? Amen. This mess we're in and. Yeah, it's. And who's going to who's going to have an act of kindness in the grocery store? You know what I'm saying? Who's going to pick up a piece of paper on the street? It it is not cheesy, but it is cheesy. It's if we don't put our hearts and minds and efforts into creating something special for the youngsters that are growing into the people that are gonna run this, this ball we're on, we're in trouble. But that's the great thing. I'm so grateful for educators and folks and all sorts of positions that are doing the hard work right now, and I would put this podcast in the category of doing the hard work right now. And big gratitude. We're going to go to map first. So thanks to your brother and thanks to you, Bill. This is this is really special to be a part of it. And our boy Mike. What up? Mike. Yeah, yeah. Mike. Mike's, been been great. And he's been here the whole time. It's just been great. Well, guys, I could talk forever. Like I said earlier, I want to thank you again. We'll put all of that information in the show notes. I challenge our listeners to do, what Matt always reminded us. Find something that you're grateful for. Regardless of how powerful the storm is, be truly present with those that you are with. Pay attention to what you're feeding your mind, your body, and your soul. Again, a huge thank you to our guests, Tom and Kevin, for helping others and for joining us today. To our listeners, remember, if you've been inspired, motivated by this show, subscribe, download it, share it with friends and comment with gratitude. Matt. Listeners, until next time, find the courage to be grateful. Godspeed my friends.