Honoring Their Son and His Tragic Loss, With Tom and Stephanie Quehl

Stephanie and Tom Quehl are the proud parents of four boys. In September of 2021, they faced the worst tragedy when they lost their son, Jack, to a lethal dose of fentanyl-laced cocaine at the young age of 24. Jack was not an addict or a habitual drug user and had never intended to take fentanyl, but it unfortunately robbed him of his future. Jack’s background was filled with academic success, athletic achievement, family love, friends, and impact wherever he went (he was an avid traveler), not the profile anyone might expect in a story like this. But fentanyl doesn’t pick out its victims and deals loss and grief wherever it goes. Stephanie and Tom have courageously transformed their pain into a mission, founding the ‘Do It For Jack’ Foundation. Their work covers a wide range of initiatives including educating others on fentanyl, preventing overdoses, dealing with loss, and communication. This heartfelt and educational episode is a wake-up call to all parents on the dangers of substance abuse and delves into the Quehl’s journey, the power of community support, and insights on how they maintain open communication with their children. Their story is a testament to how love, resilience, and prayer can create the possibility of hope in the face of such heartbreak. You can listen here or watch here. 

Transcript

0:10

Well, hello with gratitude Matt listeners, my name is Matt Murray and I'm the host for the With Gratitude Matt Show. Our goal with this show is to inspire our listeners to practice gratitude regardless of how powerful their storm is. I've learned that the practice of gratitude works much like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. I'm so delighted to introduce you to today's guests, Tom and Stephanie. Well, they are the proud parents of four Eric, Jack, Tyler and Adam. They range in age from 15 to 33. All of their boys are accomplished athletes. It's not surprising if you knew the athletic success that Tom and Stephanie appreciated in their youth. However, on September the 20th of 2001, their lives changed forever. Their son Jack died of a fentanyl overdose. Jack was an all-American kid. He loved sports and excelled in school. Jack was a National Honor Society recipient and a National Merit scholar at Moeller High School in Cincinnati, Ohio. He earned an academic scholarship to study at USC. Tom and Stephanie and their family. Rallied together to start do it for Jack Foundation. Today they do it for Jack Foundation is educating youth and parents on the risk of drug abuse, particularly fentanyl, and helping others avoid the tragedy that the Quayle family experi. In 2021, you'll be so amazed by Tom and Stephanie how they've embraced this foundation and are sharing their story and experiences with other. Tom. Stephanie. Welcome. The Today Show. Thank you for having us, Matt. Yep. It's such an honor to have you on today's show. And I've been so inspired by just learning more about the Do it for Jack Foundation. But before we talk about, you know, what happened on September the 20th of 2020, maybe I thought a good place to start might be Just talking a little bit about your family and what life was like prior to 2020. We had I mean, I mean, you call it the nuclear family without a girl, but we had you know, Eric is my son from my previous marriage. Steve and I married in 1996, and we had three boys, Jack Tyler and Adam, Jack. And today we're back to back. And Adam was roughly eight years after Tyler. So he's our caboose who kind of keeps us going. But we we had a great life, know our kids all excelled academically and athletically. Adam is a freshman at Mueller right now. Just got done with volleyball just kept us busy. You've already talked about Jack's credentials. You know, he was academically he did well. He was top ten in his class, received the scholarship at the University of South Carolina. Tyler was in the same boat. Tyler also did very well academically. Tyler was is big in theater. He still is. He's actually put a couple albums out on Spotify. So he's he's more of a musically inclined guy, plays piano. He's a virtuoso, a piano, plays guitar, bass. He has a drum machine. And then Adam also, we're lucky. I think it's more on Stephanie's side that all our kids are smart. Not. Advanced vigorously, so that he obviously literally would read to them every night. And it was Momma, another book, Mama, another book. And that kind of instilled this value of reading, which I think is the pillar for learning for any any youth growing up. So yeah, our life was phenomenal. It still is phenomenal. Obviously, we have a hole in our heart with Jack, you know, with the thermal poisoning that happened to Jack. So that that's our story on our life. You know, we're if anything I know we're going to talk more about the foundation. And Jack, this really we've always been in love with each other, but this probably bonded us even more because we have a sense of purpose now. When Jack passed away, we I especially went through a couple weeks, maybe a month, where I did want to talk to anybody, and I really didn't want to get out of bed. And and Stephanie was the one who is still the value of let's let's do something so that no other family will lose their jack. And that's that's the foundation of the do it for Jack Jack Well foundation. That's beautiful is beautiful. And I wanted to add Matt which is interesting is and Tom, we both had jobs that we lost and you're on top of raising our family. Loveland I taught at St Columbian for 18 years, actually taught at Nativity, which is a blessed ridge, and then had the boys and stayed home. And it's kind of funny, the nun that I student taught under hired me in the parking lot of Saint Columbia when Jack was in first grade. And we just laughed at that because she didn't ask anybody. She just hired. So our friends got a kick out of that, like you would have never been hired. I'm like, Yeah, you're probably right. So I love teaching and that's I'm not angry. But that was probably the hardest thing to let go of, is leaving my job. Last year in order to get this foundation off the ground because I truly enjoyed being around the kids and being in the education system. So that's been kind of hard that way. But like Tom said, you know, we were just late in life and trying to get Adam out of high school so that Tom and I could find each other and move on. And I don't know, get a camper or something. Well, what's amazing to me, just to hear you and Tom, you know, you touched on it. It's, you know, this tragedy that took place in 21. You said it, it gave you say I'll give you a purpose. And I think often times, you know, people that are kind of just kind of going through life don't really have purpose. And sometimes it's it's hurdles like this that really give us definition of what our purpose really is in life. And I found that to be true and my own hurdle. So I really admire both of you for how you handle this. Well, if we could just go back to September of 21 and maybe walk us through a little bit about, you know, what happened, how you found out about this and, you know, the initial days. I know, Tom, you said you didn't want to get out of bed, but maybe if you could add a little bit more color around that, I think it would be interesting for our listeners to hear that. Yeah, I'd love to give you a little background. Jack graduated from South Carolina, got a job through Venture for America, for a company based in Baltimore, Maryland called Hex Corporation. And during COVID, he worked remotely. So he lived with us for almost a year, working remotely for hacks in August of 2021 is when he we loaded up a U-Haul for him and he moved up to Baltimore and we visited him. Tyler, who was a year behind him, got a job in Philadelphia, also through Venture for America. So we actually moved Tyler in Labor Day weekend. Baltimore being close to Philadelphia. Jack came up, helped us move in. We spent the day in Philadelphia with Tyler and then the Sunday of Labor Day with Jack and met two of his friends. Aaron and Chris, who both went to South Carolina and both lived in Baltimore. That was the last time we saw Jack alive. We went to you know, we went home. And then three weeks later, Stephanie, I think you probably ought to talk about this more than me. So Stephanie got a call from Aaron, who we've just mentioned, who had found Jack and Chris up on Jack's rooftop at his apartment. Yeah, I think. Yeah. And I'm just sort of backtrack to that Labor Day weekend trip. The other thing that's just I kind of feel like, God, you know, everything. As you say, everything happened for the reason that for a reason. But I'm still trying to figure out what the reason is on this one. But Adam, like Tom said, he's actually nine and 11 years difference between the boys and we never take him anywhere where we travel to go see them because he's kind of a crutch. But for some reason I said to Tom, Adam needs to go with us on this trip. Like he needs to see where his brothers are living and go. And I am so thankful that for that, because like Tom said, that was the last time we were all together and actually got a decent picture with Jack, which is unheard of too, because we rarely got ones where he wasn't making a face or doing something stupid. So we met Aaron and Chris. Like Tom said, and that also ties into our story because they're part of the story. And I was working at the St Colombian Festival in the teacher booth, and Tom was What were you on your final day of COVID? Hope it weren't TV, so he wasn't up there with us. And my phone rang as soon as I shipped was over and I only answered it because it was where Tyler lived. Like it wasn't it wasn't Baltimore, it was a Philly number. And I was like, Well, that's weird. And all I could hear on the other end was that I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cowell. I'm so sorry in your heart. Just I mean, you just want to be sick to your stomach. You're just like, what? And I think one of the things I really want to point out to people is I had no idea about Sentinel and what it did to people. So when we got the call, all I kept saying was, does he have a heartbeat? And he said yes. So I was like, Great. We had the paramedics call me, we're on it. And I ran home and got turned on. We tried to catch the lights and couldn't figure it out. You just want to go to your child. So we just got in the car, started driving. But it's that blind faith and hope that you have as you're driving me. If I had known what I know now, I would realize that Jack didn't have a chance. His friend Chris was already dead. And Erin. And they're all fraternity brothers. I can't even imagine fighting my two best friends, And Erin is the one that found them. And Jack did have a heartbeat, which is insane. So that was probably 14 hours later. And then, you know, by the time Tom and I got there were going on 24 hours and we got to be with them through the night, they did everything they could. And we were like I said, we just kept telling them to do what they could, not realizing that you really can't bounce back from this. And they gave us, you know, our time to be with him, which was so incredibly nice. Tyler lives in Philly, so we sent him ahead of us. And I can't imagine what you know, Tyler probably saw things he should see as a brother and then Tom and, I mean, like I said, I got there after he looked great. You know, he was there looking peaceful. But your child, you know, just isn't there. And it that was it was almost like a movie. I can't explain that feeling of walking through a hospital corridor and go into that room and see and everything. You see the sounds and alarms, beeps. I think they resuscitate a light six or seven times in front of us. And then they're just like, okay, we're done. We can't do this anymore. Yeah, that's that's just unbelievable that you had to go through that. And I can't imagine, you know, having to live through that. And, you know, I your foundation is trying to help in prevent other families from having to experience what you had to experience on that September day. What do you say to the parents that, you know, just I would say are naive to think that this just would never happen to my child? Because you look at Jack and he was the all-American kid, good student, great friends, good athlete, and the list goes on and on. What would you say to them and how would you how might you wake them up to the the risk that this presents their child? You know, so and I think you write the way the podcast started out is actually how we start talking to the parents and the youth that we talked to, because Jack's story is relatable to people that are in academics. He did a little theater, so we talk about that. We also talk about the athletics too, so academics, athletics and theater to tie in the message that he was somewhat of an all-American boy and it was a not my child thing for us. We knew nothing about that at all. And I think the point is that we want to get across is your son or daughter could experience the same problem we had, and we want to prevent that by giving you the facts about that novel so you understand how potent is, how powerful it is, how addictive it is, and what steps you can take not to be affected by thermal in. I honestly, Tom, once you tell them a little bit about like what they're doing with the button on Y. And so I had a friend whose son had passed away from fentanyl poisoning five years ago, and he had struggled with drugs. So, you know, it wasn't like, Oh, that's okay. But I just never realized that, okay, I better talk to Jack and Tyler because this could happen to them. Because back to what we were saying is, you know, this was using recreationally, which we had no idea that was so prevalent right now in these young professionals. But Tom could tell you a little bit about why we didn't understand. I think parents think or people ask, why are they trying to kill these people and they're not know. So basically the misnomer about that at all is that the the dealers and the makers of illicit drugs are trying to kill you. And that's exactly opposite of what they're trying to do. They're trying to make you addictive to it, like when you think you're taking something else, whether it's a pill like Xanax or Percocet or even three babe drugs, you're taking something that might be laced with fentanyl and fat and all being so addictive, you don't know you're taking it and you crave it even more, even though you think you're taking a Percocet or you even a higher end drug like cocaine, which is addictive, but not near as addictive as Daniel. And it's so prevalent out there that you become it's just like any other drug that you become more resistant to smoked small doses and you want it more and more and more. So the dealers are not are the makers of this that make it illegally. They're not lab technicians. They don't know exactly what they're doing. So sometimes they'll lay out something a little too heavy and it will kill you. It's very cheap to make. It's very easy to make and it's very easy to get across the border. Most of it's coming from Mexico. And once they get across the border, they distribute throughout the United States. And then it's made, you know, packaged with other things like cocaine or or Percocet or even marijuana now. And strong. Adderall. So people that are taking these And Stephanie, the lives of this, when we have our conversation, you can buy a pill making process on Amazon for like 100 bucks. So these pills that they're making look exactly like a prescription drug and they're not. So that's the misnomer of someone trying to kill you is incorrect. They're just trying to make you more addictive. So you become a regular customer, I guess, is the best way to put it. Yeah. And I think to like these what we tell parents. Matt, back to your question to like what we tell parents, what we found out as it's evolved is, you know, you need to start talking to your kids as young as I'd say, you know, ten, 11 years old because now they're even marketing rainbow fentanyl pills that look like candy. And so I went in Deuce and talked to Fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth graders in May at a school. And I was you know, of course, the talk is a lot different. But kids these days and I think this goes, hey, I know I listened to your podcast with your one guest on mental health. They they'll try anything, especially if they don't feel good about themselves. Right? So these kids to be anywhere can be grade school, high school, college. Hey, do you want to try this pill? And then, like Tom said, it's laced with fat. No, and it's too late. There's six out of ten pills right now in the United States are laced. And when talking to these kids, we also do an exit interview like Google Form and Anonymous. They know so much about. They know so much more than we did. And they every one of them was like, make sure you talk about the street bass because it's cheaper than buying one from like a gas station. Make sure you talk to them about marijuana. We actually had a student raise his hand. It was a perfect setting during one of our talks and said that his cousin just passed away smoking marijuana because a lot of our friend's kids are like, It's not marijuana movement, but it's not true. And I think the other thing they really stressed to tell parents, tell their kids, is I got it from my friend. Well, where did your friend get it? In near friend, you know, and your most trusted person ever. And we've even had adults who are still using tell us that they got it through. A friend. You know, you just like he cannot mess with it right now. I have a couple questions follow up to this. And I tried to just do a little research on my own to learn a little bit more about Fat Nola and how it's why it's being laced and how it's being laced so and so forth. And you brought up some things that I just have a couple of questions about. So just in marijuana, for example, you know, I know that typically that's traditionally smoked, but marijuana can it can also be laced as well. Is that correct? Yeah, I think it's more the chemical marijuana. So because there's now synthetic marijuana out there and I think that's the most laced marijuana product out there, home grown marijuana. I'm not exactly positive about that. But I do think there's a way to mix it in with that. But yeah, I it's a scary thing. Even think about attempting it. Only takes literally imagine two grains of salt to kill you so it's two little specks of fentanyl will kill somebody or illicit fentanyl. So that is why I too like eBay people. We've had the Jack friends say, Oh, well, some of our friends are using test strips now. And I'm like, Well, that's great. Are you testing a whole bag of cocaine? Are you testing a whole bag of marijuana? Or you could tap pills and why wait till you add one? What you just saw played roulette with your life every time you try something That's unbelievable. And I guess to your point, I mean, literally, they can they essentially lace anything out there virtually pretty much. I mean, I, I have there are many people out there that do this, but I do have some friends that bring their own salt shakers to restaurants because they're afraid someone is trying to screw with them and, you know, put it because it looks like a grain of salt and that will kill you. Yes. You mentioned that they're not they're not trying to kill the users, but they have to know they're killing the users. Right. I mean, there's a percentage out there that they know they're killing. And it just amazes me that they continue to to practice this, you know, just harmful and dangerous way of selling the drugs. Right? Yeah. I mean, it's I think they look at it as maybe we lost the customer, but there's a lot more new customers out there. And as Stephanie just said, it's it's it's a moneymaking thing. And they're making money hand over fist. It's crazy. It comes back to money. You know, your foundation is just kind of getting started. I mean, maybe if you could just speak to some of the work that you're doing and some of the goals and aspirations that you might have for your foundation moving forward. Yeah, I do. And all that stuff. Talk mostly about that. Since she started the foundation, as I alluded to earlier, I was more of a recluse. And then she is the one that said we need to do something. So the Jack Welch Foundation started roughly a year and yeah, about a year ago. Yeah, I honestly I think we got to thank my sister and brother in law actually put the the paperwork together with the lawyers to get us establishes a nonprofit before we were even ready to do anything about it. And then we had all these donations after Jack passed and I was like, okay. And then you kind of still sit on it last summer or whatever. And then in November I decided to enter since I give sources, I magazine and it was just a fundraising thing. And I thought I just, you know, show up and see what it was about. And the community rallied behind us and we won, won it. And so we got like, you know, extra bonus money from the whole thing. But that just gave the board and us the incentive to keep going because honestly, you just sit there, go, Why am I doing this? And then someone sent you an email about the work you're doing or you, you know, contacted me, Hey, be on my podcast to show us that we matter. And when we started that first thing and people were donating were like, People care about this cause. So the foundation honestly, yeah. I mean, even though we did the paperwork, we probably only been moving and shaking since November and we're always backpedaling. Our board members are phenomenal and they're all people we know who just said, I want to help. They all have full time jobs. None of us are getting paid. And so it's a lot of, you know, my personality, like I need this today or can I have that right now and be like, Steph, we don't work that way. I'm in the school setting. They're in the business setting like you're crazy, you know? But they literally have helped Tom and I so much with everything. And so we're just evolving. Matt Honestly, we we were maybe going to speak at Mueller High School. We started with them because obviously it's a comfortable setting for Tom and I. We knew the staff, we knew the people and we knew the audience. And so we went in and we had a meeting with them. We didn't know if they'd say no, or we said, Hey, can we come in and talk to your seniors? For sure, Yeah, we want to do it in a small setting because I was subbing up at Miller High School this year and I got the biggest kick out of that, by the way. But I realized in watching these boys that in a larger assembly, they're sleeping, they're talking, they're drifting off. So I was like, So we went in and said, How about we do this in a classroom setting? So they said, yes, and they hooked up with some teachers that were phenomenal. And we talked to probably 12 to 15 tops and about 25 to 30 kids each talk. And it was exhausting because we just said the same thing over and over again. But then you'd have a kid raise their hand, like I said, and say something so powerful about something they knew. And you're like, okay, this. And then the exit interview. Thank you, Mr.. Ms.. I'll keep going. Make sure you talk to this school. Make sure you do this. Their information was so valuable, and then the grade school talks came about because somebody I know whose son came home off the bus talking about the rainbow fat diet pills, and she completely freaked out. You know, he was a seventh grader and she's like, you need to get in and talk to these grade school kids right now. So we weren't planning to really start all that until maybe next fall. And then it was a networking event and then it was young professionals in the parents that we did a parent talk and they were just thirsting for information. And so the goal of the foundation, honestly, is education. And there is an ad out there right now through a bunch of different organizations, and it's called Just Say No K and O.W.. And I love that because knowledge is power. And I think, like Tom said, the border isn't stopping. The pills are coming in, that life is coming. And so we got to just man everybody with as much knowledge as we can about what's going on. That's awesome. Congratulations on what you're doing. And one thing I've learned, you know, so I started this podcast and, you know, my goal is to help other people as well. And, you know, face their hurdles that they're facing. And sometimes you question, you know, how much is your message really helping? But one thing I've learned and a friend of mine told me this, if if we just help one person, if we just save one life, that's enough. And I know you guys are saving a lot more than that, but just one is enough. And so just I would encourage you to keep doing what you're doing, you know, with a show around gratitude. I touched on it kind of on the front end before we started recording. You know, we all faced hurdles, but I found that just looking at life in a positive setting and being grateful for what you have versus what you don't is is a positive way to kind of start the day and kind of run through the day. But with respect to, you know, what you're doing with the foundation and the hurdle that you had to face, you know, how does gratitude play a part in your lives, perhaps before the tragedy in post and in the foundation that you're leading in? That's a great point, Matt. And it's the little things, right? Because we will always have this hole in our heart. And I'll give you an example. So we we started talking about a month and a half ago, two months ago, we've talked to over 500 students, we've talked to over 100 adults. And we're just getting started. And it's a little message as we get back. For example, we received a letter from one of the teachers, a molar that he had his students write an article and present it to the class about who inspires you the most. Over this past year, was it a teacher? Was it a fellow student? And the student wrote about us and how powerful the message was and how we gave back to him. You know, trying to we're going through a tragedy, but we're also trying to save other people. And we get those messages almost every day about someone who's lost someone to them or poisoning or someone who's going through issues in life and how our message has affected them. And that is what really helps us. That's what keeps us going. People patting us on the back saying, You're saving lives, you've saved my life. I will carry the message forward. It's just that is an awesome way to make us feel. Yeah. And I think for me, Matt, a lot of parents or my friends really like how you're doing it. Stuff like can't believe you're getting out of bed and on and on. But I mean, you knew me forever. I've always been a positive person and I've always tried to have gratitude in my life and treat others, you know, with respect and kindness. And I truly believe I'm an optimist. And so I, I feel like for as much as Tom and I are greeting that we having the sense of purpose, but I also don't want to become somebody I wasn't before. So I'm going to still be positive and be happy that I have what I have and be grateful for the family I have and honor Tom and his life. And thank God, you know, like Tom said, we were, you know, we're married, but we were also best friends before this. And that helps. So we've had a strong marriage because, you know, tragedy can, you know, go the other way with marriage, too. So I think the gratitude, like you said every day, just thanking God for something, you know, good in your life, we for your day and then asking for your wants and needs. But just the little things like you said when Tom, I look out, you know, you go to the ocean or look in our backyard and see, you know, the birds or flowers, you know, just like because that I think a jack who is missing out on all of this. You know, we just went to a wedding this weekend. It was his best to friends, to St Columb and and Andy is in seventh grade and all of his friends were there. The boys Aaron was there. He found all his fraternity brothers. And it was extremely hard looking at what Jack's missing or what he's not. And Tom and I, you know, we went with a positive, you know, we get to be around these people. We need to hear more about Jack, you know, tell us these stories. And they showed some of the boys, you know, they showed me old Instagrams or they showed us photos. And that's we want people to speak of him and give us that piece of jack information. Quite frankly, we've learned more about Jack after he left us that we knew before from all these people, especially the couple of girlfriends that came out of the woodwork. We got a kick out of that. And, you know, steps as mentioned, it's not always a rose garden or walking through. You know, there's days that it's difficult and you that you reflect and you think of Jack and he was my best friend. All my sons are my best friend. Jack was my best friend when it came to sports and music. He loved rock music. He would semi text all all the time about a new song. He heard or who's going to win the game tonight. And I really miss that. I miss that part the most. But you know, it's inspiring to get this to the point where we are hopefully saving lives. You sure. Are, Steve. It truly is mentally exhausting. My head spins 24 seven on what I can be doing. Another unique fact about Jack is that we found out he I didn't realize this. He traveled abroad, which I'm sure you read about, but he went to Germany sophomore year in then Singapore and then ended in Brazil in the same group of students traveled together. So all the international students met sophomore year and they all moved together. So at the funeral, you know, we met some of the states people the Europeans couldn't come over. But Jack had a really good friend in Paris. And what we didn't know, actually they helped us was they made like a video. They sent us pictures of everything. But I was struggling with like, was there some addiction that I didn't know about? Was there something that like Tom and I like you said, we just didn't know. And they came to us and they were like, We promise you, we live with Jack for three years. Like, this is not him. And so that made me feel really good, cause you go guilty. Like, I was like, did he, you know, give it to Chris and you know what happened? We will never know what happened that night. And that kills me as a mother, too, because the two of them died. Like, we have no idea what those two boys did or how this came about. And that's very hard on me. But like I said, the friends have been just amazing. And there was well. They always they all miss Jack. Oh, sorry. I know. And as I say, we my niece wanted a piece of Jack when she left town. As I went down to his bins and I found a notebook that I thought was for school, he wrote a journal in Portuguese. I didn't even know he was fluent in Portuguese. And I just got it. I just got it back yesterday. But it's his thoughts and his dreams and what I translated myself through Google, it is actually amazing. I can't wait. And a lot of it in that was gratitude and like what he wanted to do in life, in his dreams and these books he was reading, he read so many books that I didn't even understand. And it's this higher level Jack speaking of. And he speaks of alcohol and it he speaks of drugs. He speaks of, you know, the kids partying and doing this and that. And like I said, I haven't tackled it yet because it's super emotional. But it was crazy to me that he could speak fluent Portuguese and Tom and I had no idea they like to write it. I mean, I couldn't do that if you paid me. You know, one thing I want to go back to and you you both touched on it. You talked about your marriage. And it's amazing to me. And because you write, I mean, you know, the marriage itself can go one of two directions. But you guys have, you know, united and got stronger. Love to hear a little bit more about that. And then also maybe your boys, I mean, has it brought them in the same direction as it's brought you as well? Yeah. I mean, like Steph said, I married my best friend and we still are best friends and we've always had a very, very close relationship. We have a purpose now that doesn't make us sit back and just grieve all day. So yeah, if anything, I'd say our marriage is stronger than it ever was. The boys, they you know, Eric got married last September, and he was he did a toast to Jack there. And he he started he broke down and cried at his own wedding. So he it was emotional for him. Tyler is you know, Tyler Tyler is probably the most independent of our kids. We always knew when Tyler graduated college. Oh, he speaks fluent Mandarin Chinese. So we we knew he would never come back to Cincinnati. We knew he would. I think his dream job would be somewhere in Asia because he loves Asia, Japan, China, you name it. And it affected him probably the most because he was the first one that had to go down early, as Stephanie said earlier. But, you know, we've always had all our sons we've had a great relationship with. And, you know, there's no there's no black sheep or anything like that. We we've had. Just the. Our kids have been perfect. And I know they reflect on Jack a lot, but they you know, they they've learned to live their lives and become independent. And it I'm sure they think of Jack all the time. Yeah. I worry about Adam the most and he's, you know, obviously he's getting a sophomore in high school and I think he you know, I don't know what goes through his mind. You know, I've taken him to therapy, but he still, you know, these kids these days, he's still got to get through high school. I'm like, you know, these are tough years. And then the deal with your brother, he had some hurdles this year of kids saying insensitive things to him. And he gets, you know, very teary eyed when things are brought up. He met the grief group. Mueller had a great grief group, which I was so appreciative of, because, you know, there's been a lot of students that have passed over the years there. And so, you know, they started answering and, you know, they've really supported these kids. But I worry about him just because he's so young and probably doesn't even fully understand. It was really hard to tell him that his brother, you know, did some cocaine. Like I you know, that's hard to tell an eighth grader at that point. When you preach all the time to not use any illegal substances. So, yeah, we worry, but we just, you know, keep keep him close and keep talking. Keep the conversation open. You know, guys, I want to just thank you again for being on today's show. And as we wrap up, I kind of close each one of my podcast very similarly I'm going to twist it a little bit because I know that you faced a hurdle on the 20th of September. That's very obvious. But maybe if you could just look at that experience and is there anything that you can look at as it relates to how you've grown as an individual, perhaps even as a couple, as a family that you can say that you're grateful for because of that experience? That wouldn't have happened had it not been for that, the tragedy that you had to live through. And I know it's a very difficult question, but I think that might help some of our listening audience look at their hurdles that they're facing with a different lens. Yeah, I think that's a great question and I think I know how to answer it. So our our family has always been close. And then I'm talking about our extended family, cousins, nephews, sister in law's brother, in laws in our community. Everyone wants to get involved with the do it for Jack. Jack Well, foundation to help out. We've got a huge event this weekend that Stephanie is most planning with at all. The city of Loveland in Ohio is participating in, and you won't believe how many people in our community said, how can I help? How can I help? How can I help? And they're gone. And I'm not talking about just delivering a shirt. I'm talking about going over board. You know, we've had a friend design a web page for us. She's on the board. We've had someone write articles who's on the board, who wrote books before, and it got published by the USA Today about the dangers of fentanyl. And we could go on and on about the folks that really tried to move us out of our shadow and move foundation forward. Yeah, I think with me, what I noticed, I guess too, is just like Tom said, you don't realize and my parents had said that to me, you know, a lot of people stray from their faith or their church or whatever. And to me, that's when I realized how important our site Columbia community was for us, because literally we have been surrounded by love from day one. And these are all the kids I taught and their parents and people just dropping food or stopping by. And we love that. Honestly, when people shy away from me, which is how I was before I, you know, I was never good with death. And I get that they get uncomfortable. But we love when people speak to us. And I think what's grown for me and Tom and gratitude is realizing how good of friendships we have it It's also brought our families together because, you know, we have lots of cousins and nieces. Everybody's growing up, everyone's moving away, everybody's doing their thing. But I think Jack's tragedy has connected us all back together again. And we've done you know, we all spent Christmas together, you know, way It's like Tom and I want to go to Florida. They joined us, you know, like whatever we wanted for a holiday. They were there and they did it, you know. So I think we're we're grateful for we may have taken those friendships, you know, for granted or our family members. And I think that's really helped with this tragedy or even like our said, our job is like I didn't realize I was grateful for my job, too. I had to leave my job. You know, you don't realize that. Tom, Stephanie, really appreciate you being on today's show, Listening audience. Just a couple takeaways that I would encourage you to really think about and consider. Have the conversation and have the conversation with your kids. No one is immune to this happening to them and you'll regret it, potentially regret it if you don't. That conversation. Tom Stephanie, I wish you continued success with the foundation. You are indeed saving lives. I know that and I know our listening audience is going to appreciate hearing some of the experiences that you had to live through. And lastly, we'll make sure that we put in the show notes your page, because I know I looked at the page and you can certainly support the foundation financially through that. So we'll make sure that of that. You know, I think about three things that, you know, for those of you that have listened to my podcast in the past, this will be similar to what you've heard me talk about. I like to think about gratitude each and every day, because there's certainly something somebody out there that has less than you are, regardless of how powerful your storm is. Secondly, be truly present to those you're with. If you're not truly present, you're going to miss the gifts that are right in front of you. And God's presented those people to you. So you have to pay attention and be present to them. And lastly, you have to pay attention to how you're feeding your mind, your body and your soul. Today's guest were Tom and Stephanie. Well, the leaders of the Jack Welch Foundation. Do it for Jack. If today's show inspired you in some way, shape or form, please subscribe to the show, comment on it and share it with others. Until next time with gratitude. Matt Listeners buying the courage to be grateful. Godspeed, my friends.